Wednesday, November 9, 2011

a life with principle.

There are a few authors that get to be written down in history as literary genious'. They are amazing with words and...stuff. (needless to say, my name won't be next to theirs on the textbooks. I have a hunch you'll find me in the Darwin awards though.) With all of these inspiring words that they write about living and dying and life and death. You would think that their last words would also be well thought out words of inspiration. Since they have probably dreamt of this moment their whole life. Now of course what I will say next is my own personal opinion, I think that everyone should pay attention to what I'm about to say: for a bunch of nutheads that spend each moment of their life coining phrases that will become inspiration for Ghandi, MLK and many others, there is nothing inspiring about the last words they chose to say.

Henry David Thoreau-(Mrs. Stanton is obsessed with him.)- "Moose...Indian."

Alfred Jeffery- "I'm dying, please, bring me a toothpick."

Washington Irving- "I have to set my pillows one more night-when will this day end?"

W.C. Fields-(read with caution)- "G-- D--- the whole F------ world. Except you, Corlotta." (Corlotta is his mistress, just so we're clear.)

Anton Chekhov- "I haven't had champagne for a long time..."

Dylan Thomas- "I had 8 straight whiskies, I think that's the record."

Leo Tolstoy- "But the peasants, how do the peasants die?"

Keep in mind, these quotes are from none other than the authors of the classics. The writers of the very we analyze in our AP English classes, scruitinize in book club and endlessly discuss with people on Yahoo! answers. Now I understand that death is nothing to be taken lightly, much less laughed about....but they did say these things when they were alive so, laugh away my friends.

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