white elephants.

There's an old saying that goes like this: it is far better to give than to receive. Today, that phrase was proven to be true, yet again. I'm not talking about the warm fuzzies you get when you give a gift to someone. I'm talking about the relief you feel when you get rid of your junk and it becomes someone elses problem. Yes, I'm talking about the notorious white elephant gift exchanges. I've been to three this season and I would consider them all a success.

I traded a creepy porcelain clown for a box of chocolates. Success.

I traded a granny work out video for a foam sword. Success.

And I traded a book, no. THE book for a pop-tart. Success.

THE book:

"The Kissing Book." Given to me by my grandpa. He left it in our possession as a present when I was eleven. I've always thought that, since I was eleven, it would have been more appropriate to give me a book like Junie B. Jones or Ramona Quimby. But no, I received a book all on tips and strategies of kissing. I've always wondered if maybe my grandpa had a hidden meaning behind giving me that particular book. Perhaps he thinks I'm a floozy, or that I he fears I'll wind up an old maid and he thought this might prevent that. I like to believe that it's just another garage sale treasure and that he didn't have me in mind when he bought it. Let's hope.

In conclusion, it is far, far, far better to give than to receive.