My friend and I decided to go to the temple. In my head this was a spiritual, inspirational and lovely experience. Of course, the temple is always lovely, but on this particular temple expedition I got more adventure than I bargained for.
I drove to pick my friend up from his house when I suddenly realized I had to go to the bathroom. No matter, I am a big girl and I can hold it- or so I thought. We began the drive to the temple and I realized that even though I may be a big girl, my will power was no match for my bladder. I started bouncing up and down, a variation of the sitting-down potty dance. However, no amount of dancing could prevent the inevitable. I peed my pants. Or dress, if I'm being accurate. This isn't figuritive, I literally peed my dress.
We pulled into the temple parking lot and I suddenly stopped listening to anything he was saying [yes, he, that just adds to the humiliation of this great story]. I just kind of sat there, what was I going to do? My innocent brain couldn't think of a lie that could complete the task of letting me drive out of the parking lot, drop him off at his home and bolt into my house. So I instead grabbed my longest pea coat (no pun intended) and silently prayed it would cover my bootie. It didn't.
I creatively walked into the temple when we reached an obstacle: a door. He just had to be a gentleman and hold it open for me. Which, I'm sure you can conclude, means I would walk in front of him and he behind me. I could not let this happen. I daintily pushed him through the door, demanding he walk in front. I'm such a lady.
So why, you might ask, am I telling you this story? For one simple reason; this story is the kind someone might use to blackmail me, and the only thing worse than the world knowing I've peed my dress, is being blackmailed. So to prevent ending up as an inspired story on 'Law-and-Order' due to some blackmailing mishap, I will just save myself the time and energy and confess online. Logical, right?
I drove to pick my friend up from his house when I suddenly realized I had to go to the bathroom. No matter, I am a big girl and I can hold it- or so I thought. We began the drive to the temple and I realized that even though I may be a big girl, my will power was no match for my bladder. I started bouncing up and down, a variation of the sitting-down potty dance. However, no amount of dancing could prevent the inevitable. I peed my pants. Or dress, if I'm being accurate. This isn't figuritive, I literally peed my dress.
We pulled into the temple parking lot and I suddenly stopped listening to anything he was saying [yes, he, that just adds to the humiliation of this great story]. I just kind of sat there, what was I going to do? My innocent brain couldn't think of a lie that could complete the task of letting me drive out of the parking lot, drop him off at his home and bolt into my house. So I instead grabbed my longest pea coat (no pun intended) and silently prayed it would cover my bootie. It didn't.
I creatively walked into the temple when we reached an obstacle: a door. He just had to be a gentleman and hold it open for me. Which, I'm sure you can conclude, means I would walk in front of him and he behind me. I could not let this happen. I daintily pushed him through the door, demanding he walk in front. I'm such a lady.
So why, you might ask, am I telling you this story? For one simple reason; this story is the kind someone might use to blackmail me, and the only thing worse than the world knowing I've peed my dress, is being blackmailed. So to prevent ending up as an inspired story on 'Law-and-Order' due to some blackmailing mishap, I will just save myself the time and energy and confess online. Logical, right?
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