Thursday, September 5, 2013

I'm just a pest.

When I entered my scary Biology class for the first time I was trying my best to fly under the radar and blend in. (I'm really good at blending in at BYU because I'm a blonde girl just like the other 85% of the student body.) Quietly and strategically I sat down in the middle of the fifth row and made friends with another blonde girl (they are everywhere).

Then the fun began. My entire Biology class is full of liberal arts majors for some reason. Which is great because we all think alike, it's also horrible because we all think alike and that means none of us are good at science. My darling professor decided to make science learning "fun" and she announced happily that we would be doing an experiment with termites for our first day. Jaws dropped, girls whimpered but we pulled ourselves together and began our experiment.

With the exception of spiders I'm not afraid of bugs so I was certain I would be able to conduct myself in a mature, college-ly manner for this experiment. And boy was I wrong. If there is one thing I can not do, it's blend in. It's really a problem.

Anyways, there was about ten minutes left of class and the room of 200 students had fallen silent with concentration. Students were filling out their final answers to the assignment when I decided I wanted to use a pen instead of a pencil, I grabbed my pink pencil in my hand and turned to put it in my backpack. Unfortunately, in this process my elbow collided with my vile of termites.

The next second of my life played in slow motion as I desperately tried to grab the vile before it fell of the edge of my "desk" (those things are so small, they are more of an elbow rest than a desk). My efforts were useless, the termites were scrambling around on the floor. I did the only reasonable thing to do in a moment like that: I panicked. I dropped to my knees and began chasing the termite refugees around on the floor with a paintbrush. A couple girls screamed, boys laughed at me and the professor rolled her eyes. When I finally returned the vile of termites to the teacher, only two were left alive, the rest of the refugees had received capital punishment by paintbrush (oops).

I am obviously not ready for college in the slightest.

Who let the termites out? That would be me.

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